Trader Joe's Tooth Fiasco

**Warning! This true story contains graphic elements!**

The old Albertson's is gone.

In its stead, a glorious beacon,
A shiny, gilded destination sits:

Trader Joe's.

The place with the organic lager,
The blue label Samuel Smith's.
I had not drunk from it
in quite a spell.

Needless to say,
I was stoked.

So excited was I
To sit and sip from this
Wonderful brew
That I did not wait to sit
Before I sipped.

Nay.

I popped the top
With gusto,
With exuberance,
With almighty excitement.

A hiss escaped,
The pressure released.
I leaned in close
That I should quench my thirstiness,
My parched gullet,
My desert mouth.

And then, alas!

My shoulder twitched,
And bits of tooth
Fell in the sink.

This was not fun.

Yes, but laugh,
Dear friends,
It is O.K.
For I have learned
A valuable lesson.

Henceforth, I
Shall always drink beer,
That revitalizing elixir,
That nectar of the wise,
That libation of the Gods,

From out of a glass.