Saturday, October 20, 2007

A Note on the Comb-Over

Balding men,
Please lose your hair with dignity
Shave your head

The future is yours
Let go of those wispy strands of a bygone era
Help them die
Let them die

The skullet is amoral
No length in back can replace the canopy
Please shave your head

We do not mind your tortoise freckles
We do not mind your sunspots
We like your reflective noggin

Polish it well

You must guard against folly
And ward away farce
You are so much more
Than strands of seaweed hanging limply from a rock

Your destiny lies without hair
None
Not a whisker

Consider the peeled garlic clove
Or the hard-boiled egg
Now consider a sticky jawbreaker covered in straw
Two are natural and one is an accident

You are not an accident

You are a man
A being capable of choice
Choose wisely
And shave your head


Walk forward boldly
And stop clinging to your past
Be brave
Let it go

We will still be here
We will still love you
But only when you accept your fate
And claim your throne

Please shave your head

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