Balding men,
Please lose your hair with dignity
Shave your head
The future is yours
Let go of those wispy strands of a bygone era
Help them die
Let them die
The skullet is amoral
No length in back can replace the canopy
Please shave your head
We do not mind your tortoise freckles
We do not mind your sunspots
We like your reflective noggin
Polish it well
You must guard against folly
And ward away farce
You are so much more
Than strands of seaweed hanging limply from a rock
Your destiny lies without hair
None
Not a whisker
Consider the peeled garlic clove
Or the hard-boiled egg
Now consider a sticky jawbreaker covered in straw
Two are natural and one is an accident
You are not an accident
You are a man
A being capable of choice
Choose wisely
And shave your head
Walk forward boldly
And stop clinging to your past
Be brave
Let it go
We will still be here
We will still love you
But only when you accept your fate
And claim your throne
Please shave your head
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