Non Sequitur Lyrics to X-mas Carols (part 2)

The Moist Slackening Tine of the Beer

It's the moist slackening tine of the beer. [chorus of midgets: 'ping-pong, ping-pong']
With the peeps oyster-shucking,
And Jell-O shot-sucking,
I'll get drunk I fear!
It's the moist slackening tine of the beer. [chorus of midgets: 'ping-pong, ping-pong']

It's the slap-happy chum-buddy fest. [chorus of bros: 'don't fret, don't fret']
With all that harsh bleating,
And crack-head yard-weeding,
Let's rip shirt from chest!
It's the slap-happy chum-buddy fest. [chorus of bros: 'don't fret, don't fret']

There'll be Ajax for snorting,
Carcasses for hoarding,
And screaming while on fire yet. [chorus of grannies: 'oh, my!']
There'll be razor-filled apples,
And exploding chapels,
It's going to rain stained glass, you bet! [chorus of grannies: 'you bet']

It's the moist slackening tine of the beer. [chorus of rednecks: 'hee-haw, hee-haw']
There'll be much donkey riding,
And dead honky hiding,
So be off good cheer!
It's a hoisted weasel-faced shrine [chorus of midgets: 'god damn!']
It's a foisted hackneyed crime [chorus of bros: 'ah, man!']
It's the moist slackening tine...(rolling timpani)...of the beer! [rednecks, grannies, bros & midgets: 'hee-haw!']